Reflections

I am sitting here thinking a lot today. I should be busying myself with household things, and I am, but mostly I am just thinking. I don't know if it's because our friends are in the hospital in labor with their firstborn, a little boy, or if it's because the surgery date is fast approaching, but I find myself thinking about trying to conceive and being pregnant with Drew. All the thought and care that went into preparing my body to house our precious child, all the temping to be sure timing was correct, the excitement (and nervousness) when a plus sign appeared on that first test. The wishing of morning sickness on myself so I would know the baby was OK (dumb), thinking on Christmas Eve that I was SO huge (please, I was 17 wks along), the first time I knew it was him moving inside me, the ultrasound where we first saw his beautiful face in 3-D, my swollen ankles, stretch marks developing and sleepless nights. Everything was worth it. Even the 13 hours of labor, including the 3 hrs of pushing and the eventual need for forceps. It was all worth it when I looked at him on my belly for the first time. I still find myself staring at him when he sleeps in my arms, marveling that Bill and I created him. That he is a part of both of us or that God sent him to us. I can't imagine my life without him. I honestly can't. I pray that God heals him and that I stay strong for him. I pray that we can move past this and not have to worry about a valve replacement in the future. I pray that he continues to grow and be healthy in the future. I pray that I may be a voice for those with and those affected by CHD and that Drew may be when he is older.

On another note, I got my bracelet (an early Mother's Day gift) from CHD Families and I am super excited about it!