Blindsided

Well, it's been about one  year since my last post, so it seems about right that I should be posting now.  Apparently, I can't keep up with this blog more than once or twice per year now, so it is what it is.  Drew being in full day Kindergarten is probably our biggest adjustment this fall.  He seems to be, mostly, adjusting well.  He loves his school, his teacher, and his friends. The day is long, and exhausting, and by Thursday, he's pretty much over it.  But, this too shall pass, right?  Haha...yeah...I can dream.  I am sure we have plenty of years of "But I don't want to go to school!" to come!

We also had his cardiologist appointment last Monday.  We hadn't been to see his cardiologist in 2 years, per her instructions.  I am always a bit nervous and hesitant before his appointment, waiting for the worst...the other shoe to drop.  I grow weary of people telling me "he'll be fine" or "look at him, he's so healthy, of course it's going to go great!"  I know they mean well, but let me remind everyone of his first year of life.  He was a chubby, pleasant baby who didn't "look sick."  Ever.  And he was sick.  Very sick, in fact.  So, I never take it for granted that because he "looks healthy," he IS healthy.

Of course, the hubs was out of town for this appointment (for a good reason, he was attending his grandfather's funeral!), so I was on my own with the 2 boys.  Emmett is quite the handful when he wants to be, and after 2 hrs (nearly) of being at the doctor's office, he was letting us all know that enough was enough.  I wanted to cry with him and say, "I get it, I do," but I had to remain calm and listen.  Listen to what?  Oh.  Yeah.  The reason for the title of this blog post.  Drew has something else going on with him...and his pulmonary valve is leaking.  *Yay*

Apparently, his aorta has developed something that is causing an "acceleration" of blood flow through the arch, into the descending aorta.  Let me just say...something being wrong with the aorta freaks me out.  I have known too many babies with undiagnosed aortic problems who are no longer with us, or are very sick as a result.  Thankfully, his has been caught...but what is it? NO ONE knows.  His cardiologist has no idea what's going on.  And, right now, since all his tests are "normal," she wants us to wait 18 mos before coming back.

*bangs head on desk*

Ugh

So, we get 18 months of waiting, and worrying, before we see what his heart is doing again.  Unless, God forbid, something goes terribly wrong sooner...which, of course, none of us want.  And, in 18 months, it might have disappeared, or grown, or stayed the same.  So, yet again, we're in "watch and see" mode.  Which is my favorite because I am not at all a control freak who needs to know exactly what we're dealing with.  If it does grow and develop, we'll go back to the geneticist.  If he's developing a left sided defect, along with his right sided defect, his cardiologist seems fairly confident something genetic is going on.  But, for now, we wait.  And deal with the emotional fallout of the appointment for us and Drew.  And then, we soldier on.  Because being strong is the only choice we have.