God's Plan

I have been thinking a lot today about God's plan. I want to be clear, I firmly believe that God has a plan for all of us and that we are not really meant to understand what that plan is until we walk our journies and experience the plan in action. And even then, I think sometimes we're left wondering what the plan is and trusting in Him. I believe there is a purpose to everything that happens, even the bad. But, because I am human, I still sometimes question the purpose, "the why," when bad things happen.

I have had Aiden on the brain since I found out about his passing yesterday. I can't get his sweet face out of my head. He is just as precious to his Mommy as Drew is to me...and it begs the question, "why him?" Why did God choose to take him home so young? Why are his Mommy and Daddy experiencing such tremendous heartache and grief right now? How is it that I was so blessed to have Drew come through everything so well? How does God decide which babies to leave on earth and which to call home? I held Drew a little bit closer to me today and said some extra prayers of thanksgiving for his life. And I sat in my fear of him leaving us for a bit before moving on from it, as it is not productive.

As I wrote in my previous post, I am more committed than ever to this fight. We need to get awareness out there, we need to get better screenings, and we need to find cures...or at least better treatments for the more serious CHDs...ones that guarantee a more favorable outcome. I've said it before and I'll say it again, every child is someone else's Drew and every child deserves a long, healthy life. They deserve to experience all that life has to offer them. We need to raise hope for a bright future, along with raising awareness.

For those of you on FB, I have posted Drew's open heart surgery and recovery pictures for 2 reasons:

1) It is a big part of his story

and

2) It is reality

There isn't any shying away from it, sticking my head in the sand, or forgetting about things. There is no reason to hide anything from anybody. I didn't post them to be in anyone's face, I posted them to share Drew's story, his journey. There is no way you can walk this road, see what we have seen, and not be moved. Moved by the strength of these kids, the strength of their parents. Moved by their resiliency and zest for life. Moved by the level of care that they receive and the frustration the Doctors and Nurses have when things go wrong. Moved by how such a journey can bring you to people you've never met in person, or haven't known for long, yet you feel as if they are your biggest source of support...because they have been there. They understand. I know this is all part of God's plan for me...and I pray I can be part of the good in God's plan for others.