Realizations

Wow, two posts from me in one day!

This is going to be a rambler, I am sure.

So, I have been visiting blogs today. And, after checking out about a zillion blogs, I have come to some conclusions ...

I am not crafty

I am not creative

I am not photogenic

I do not have a great sense of style

I am SO not organized

I think I am missing the "Suzie Homemaker" gene

Phew. Got that all out there. No, this is not some "woe is me" post, bear with me. It's just the truth. I'll take it point by point.

I tried scrapbooking once. I had all the best intentions of making this scrapbook the most fabutastic one ever, documenting my engagement, wedding events, wedding and honeymoon. I got to my wedding (about 7 pages in) and that was that. I got bored, I ran out of ideas and I was done. And now, 3 years later, it is somewhere in my house collecting dust. I can't sew, I don't make things my child can wear or I can sell on Etsy. I buy those things from others much more talented that I. I check out their blogs and Etsy sites and I turn green with envy. Oh, to be so talented. But I digress...

When I look at some of these blogs, I can't help but think "these Moms are hot!" And not in any gross ways, so get your minds out of the gutter! It's more of an awe type thing. Like, "wow, she's got it so together that she makes it look like she just threw it all together and looks fabulous." Like it took no time to get dressed, do her hair or put on make up...it looks so natural! If I didn't spend time working on myself, my pictures would look even worse than they do. Trust me. I am not saying I am ugly, I know I am not, I am simply NOT photogenic. I don't know how to do make up to play up my best feature, my eyes, and so they disappear in pictures unless I have my makeup professionally done. ALL pictures of me WITHOUT makeup are a total nightmare. I post them because they often have Drew in them, and are memories I want to share with others, but I cringe when I look at them. It used to be that I wouldn't even allow pictures to be taken of me without makeup on, but after realizing I have like 3 pictures of me and Drew in the hospital, only one of those being a family one of the 3 of us, I have changed that policy. Life is too short to not capture every moment I can.

This brings me to my next point ... my sense of style, or rather, my lack of style. OY. This is something I have always struggled with. Finding a style that works for me, or my house, and going with it. Knowing, intuitively, what works and what doesn't. When it comes to my house, I am slowly making progress with this. My living room is nearly where I want it to be, our guest bedroom (minus the clutter) is awesome, our bedroom is shaping up nicely, the bathroom is decent (although I REALLY wish I had gone with a furniture sink/vanity) and, when the kitchen is done, it too will be amazing (I left out Drew's room because that is, of course, adorable and yes, my house is this small). I wish I could translate this to my own personal style, and I mean in the way I dress. Part of this is being self conscious of my "problem areas" and not being able to wear things that are currently in style. Part of this is not being willing to spend money on shoes, bags and other accessories when I would rather spend that money on jeans and other articles of clothing. But, accessories are what MAKES the outfit. I need to figure out where to shop so that I am not spending an arm and a leg, because, really, where do I go on a daily basis that I need to spend a boatload of money on such things? But, I would like to look cute on a more regular basis...and not just for my husband, for myself. I always feel better when I look my best.

I like to make lists, it helps me think. Making lists and being organized, however, are not the same thing I've discovered. Making lists does help me think through things, but it does not help me ACCOMPLISH said tasks. In all honesty, it helps make me MORE disorganized because it creates more clutter that I must then organize, file, or throw away because it takes up space on our counters, our dressers, and this is space we don't have to give up to random sheets of paper with all my chicken scratched notes. I have junk drawers in about every room in our house. And get this...clutter makes me CRAZY. I hate it. So, why oh why do I allow myself to continue down this path to crazy town??? I wish I knew. But, it's on my list for this year. Stay tuned for progress reports...

And this brings me to my last point, the "Suzie Homemaker" gene. I touched briefly on it during my discussion about my lack of creativity and craftiness. I cannot sew. Not even a button on a shirt. Not even a hemline. I don't know how to operate a sewing machine. It's embarrassing. My Grandpap could've been a tailor for gosh sakes, and I can't sew one stitch. Naturally, I also cannot be creative and make things if I can't hem a pair of pants! I have tossed around the idea of taking a sewing class, possibly a photography class, and maybe even a cooking class to help me with my lack of "Suzie Homemaker" skills. The only problem is time. Between being a full time Mom, President of our chapter of IMH, my direct selling business, attempting to run the house and my new running program, I barely have time to sleep and shower. But, one day, I'll have Baby #2 and I know I will have even less time. So, maybe I do one thing at a time? I am open to suggestions.

And there you have it. My rambling realizations from today. More things to add to my list for 2010 and beyond. I want to be all I can be, and want to be, because I think it can only make me a better Mom in the end. To be utterly happy and content with who I am can only be good, right?

I am going with yes.