Can't Understand It

I know this post might spark some controversy, and that is fine...I welcome it. This would be a pretty boring world if we all had the same opinions.

I am just sick to my stomach after reading of ANOTHER family who chose to terminate their son who had been diagnosed with HLHS. I blame the inaccurate and scary information that is circulating out there on non-medical websites, medical staff pushing termination on overwhelmed and scared parents and the fact that abortion is thought of as acceptable in our society for this problem. Yes, I am Christian, and thus, in my opinion, only God can choose when to give and when to take life. Who's to say which lives are worthwhile and which aren't? Not us. There is no such thing as "perfect." And isn't it scary to think that some people are so hung up on that ideal?

I feel for these families, truly I do. How scared must one be to think that causing your child to die is a better alternative than surgery? Yes, surgery is scary ... and as the parent in the situation, I can tell you, it's a heck of a lot scarier for us than for them. And that's why I can't understand people who choose to terminate. It's not because I think they don't love their child or I don't see that they honestly believe they're doing the right thing ... I think maybe they are scared of facing the surgery themselves and have fooled themselves into thinking this is actually better for their child. They are scared of the unknown, they are allowing themselves to be persuaded into decisions that cause the death of their own child, and the medical community sometimes preys on this vulnerability. And let's face it, in our society, these parents are hailed as the brave ones and those who choose surgery, etc, for their children are sometimes painted as selfish. Every choice (and by this I mean the choice between compassionate care and surgery) is personal and parents should do what THEY feel is best for their child and situation. But for people to think termination is an acceptable choice in light of the other options available these days, is unfathomable to me.

I wish I could be in every fetal ECHO with pictures of complex CHD kids who are happy, healthy and leading *normal* lives ... or at every high risk OB's office with pictures of children who, while still in-utero, their parents were told any number of scary stories and yet, they were born perfectly healthy. You're talking about going through the mother to see the baby ... it's an imperfect science. And until the baby is actually here, no one can tell you with 100% certainty what kind of life that child may lead. And even then, there are many babies who defy the odds daily. Complex CHDs are NOT a death sentence.

If you are of the same mindset as I am on this issue, I ask that you please pray for these families and these precious little ones gone too soon.