2 Med Students and a Pediatric Dentist...

Children's is certainly a teaching hospital! We had two Med Students take our history and listen to Drew's heart, followed by a Pediatric Dentist who listened to his heart for reasons unknown to us. He was very nice, and we tried to enlist his services in helping us determine if Drew is teething, but Drew wouldn't cooperate with him either. The Med Students were funny. The one was SO nervous, and English wasn't his first language, he literally read the questions off a sheet. The other guy was a bit more laid back and just interjected questions here and there. We also ran into our swim class instructor in the waiting room. Her son is facing tonsil and adnoid removal and needs approval from the Cardiologist for this procedure.

Dr. Turner is very nice, I definitely got a good vibe from him. He took us through the procedure and the structures he'll be working on in the heart. He feels fairly certain the problem can be resolved with the valvuloplasty and that Drew may never need another procedure in his lifetime. Since I have heard all that before and then was told, no, he probably needs open heart surgery too, I am just choosing to keep on my train of thought. Hope for the best and expect the worst, so I don't feel like the wind is knocked out of my sails if the problem isn't resolved.

Crappy thing is, Drew woke up congested as all hell this morning. Dr. Turner said they would still perform it if he was like this, but if he is coughing and has green gunk coming out, then they'll reschedule. I just want it done and over with so we can either move on with our lives, or deal with surgery. Of course, Drew will have to see his Cardiologist at Beaumont for the remainder of his childhood. I am hoping the congestion is related to teething, and not a cold. I've been a semi-hermit with him for weeks now...it would totally stink if he still ended up getting sick.

Drew did look pretty cute in his little hospital gown. It was a pale yellow and cotton, not like the paper ones I get to wear at my Dr's visits. He seemed very studious today and wasn't quick with his smile, which of course could also be due to the fact that he is not feeling the greatest. The EKG tech gave him a swan to take with him, which he thought was pretty cool. He did REALLY well for how long we were there.

So, that's the latest on our end. Now, we just wait until Sunday and see how he's doing, talk to the Dr. and see if we're going to proceed on Monday, or wait until another time. Will keep you all posted.

Consultation and Other Random Things

Tomorrow is our consulation with the Dr. at Children's who will be performing Drew's valvuloplasty. For some reason our insurance claim (which was approved, thank God) is being sent to another Dr. in the same practice, so I had to confirm we were meeting with the Dr. I thought we were meeting with. And we are, so that is bizarre. I am a little bit nervous, and it's just a consultation. I want to feel prepared for Monday, and I don't think I will, no matter how many questions I ask or what kind of vibe I get.

As most of you know, Drew is a bit behind with his Gross Motor Development. Partly this is due to his weight and partly due to his abhoration of tummy time. Recently, he's begun bouncing on his feet and more consistently pushing up on his arms, which gives me hope that perhaps he is trying to get somewhere. I know, I know, be careful what I wish for, but this heart thing is so taxing, it would just be nice to see some real progress in his GMD. I fear what his Ped might say if he isn't at least scootching more at his 9 month appt. But, what can I do? I can't make him move. So, it is what it is.

Sleep continues to be rare in the Brown household. We're semi-convinced Drew is teething or working on a new milestone or both. And we're less convinced, but it's still a thought, that he just simply enjoys seeing our "happy" faces at 3am. I know I am not alone in this, thanks to my BBC friends. They comiserate with me nearly daily and help me to feel normal about still not getting any real sleep 8 months into Drew's life. :)

And last, but certainly not least, my hat's off to the Steelers on their SIXTH Super Bowl victory! Woot!!!

No Sleep 'til...Who Knows?

The morning Drew was born, I woke up at 3am to use the bathroom (what was new?) and realized I was having contractions upon returning to bed. This had happened previously, so I just tried to sleep, but they got worse...so, I decided to time them. They were all over the place, so I thought nothing of it...but after 2 hrs of this, I was still awake and still contracting. Then, the "big one" happened and my water broke...and well, I haven't had a decent night's sleep since. Actually, I haven't had a decent night's sleep since my 2nd trimester probably.

When I was pregnant, dreaming of my little one, I used to think about how those sleepless nights the first few weeks would be. As the end of my pregnancy drew nearer, and sleep became harder to come by, I began to worry about the lack of sleep. But, I keep telling myself, "it's only for three months, max, then this baby should be sleeping through the night..." I laugh at the "old me" now. How naive I was. As Drew grew, it became evident that, while he slept fine at 3 months old, it wasn't the sleep I had been dreaming of. So, I thought, by 6 months surely he'll be sleeping 10-12 hrs/night, every night. And he can, and does sometimes, sleep 10-11 hrs/night...but he wakes throughout the night and can't soothe himself back to sleep. Now, every two weeks or so, we get a couple of nights here and there where he puts himself back to sleep without our help or doesn't wake, but more often than not, he needs us to show him his paci and pat his bottom, or play his lullabies, to fall back to sleep. I don't get it.

Now, when there are two people doing this nightly, it's tiring...but since Bill's out west skiing, it's all me until Tuesday. Last night was horrendous, the night before, not great. And, after trying all we can try with his heart the way it is, Bill and I are at a loss as to what to do. We can't allow him to cry for long, or escalate really, so crying it out doesn't really work. We tried to modify the so-called Ferber Method because we can't do the just plain "let them cry til they fall asleep" belief of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. This worked for two nights, then Drew learned to just start screaming and there we were. We've sprinkled the crib with pacis, he sleeps on his tummy because his arms are crazy still and we don't want to swaddle them, we play his lullabies. And still, he wakes up. So, if anyone reading this has any suggestions, please let me know...Mommy needs sleep!!! And so does Daddy! Although, he gets 4 nights of solid sleep this weekend, so I don't really feel too bad for him right now. ;)

Until this gets figured out, I just need to repeat my mantra...it won't be like this for long....

Thoughts...

Today I am sad.

I am sad because I just spent the better part of Drew's morning nap reading a blog about a woman who lost her daughter when she was barely 13 weeks old due to a heart condition. Her older son had a herniated diaphragm and that has caused multiple problems, and she is pregnant with another little boy who has some heart issues as well. I found their blog on a site I frequent where Moms of children with heart defects can get advice, support and resources. I am in awe of this blogger's candidness. Her precious little girl was so beautiful and my heart just breaks for this other woman, someone I don't even know. I am sad because so many parents face the same reality...and it is not fair.

Today I am grateful.

I am grateful because God has chosen me to be be Drew's mother. He has given me the most perfect gift and I strive daily to be worthy of this gift. Sometimes I fail, but I always try. Today I am grateful because my son's prognosis is good. He should live a normal, healthy life...full of excitement, laughter and fun. He should be able to do all the things he wants to do in life and be whomever he wants to be. I am grateful for Drew's smiles, laughs, monologues and the love he brings into my life. I am grateful for his father, for being such an outstanding man, husband and father. I am grateful for my life as it is, with all its imperfections, because it's my life. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Date for Drew's Valvuloplasty

From now on, I will be keeping everyone updated on Drew from here. It's just much easier!

Drew will have his vavuloplasty on February 9th. We go in for a consultation on February 4th, but this will basically be a meet and greet with his new Cardiologist at Children's, and a time to ask all the "what ifs?" and "how does that work?" questions. We should know by the end of the procedure if it worked and if not, what the next course of action (ie: open heart surgery) will be and when.

We thank you for your continued prayers!

Drew's First Christmas Tree!

Drew helped us put up his first Christmas tree and decorate it on Sunday!

Santa Baby!

We took Drew to get his 6 month and Christmas pictures this past weekend! Despite a cold and being VERY tired from two crummy nights of sleep, he was a champ! Here is one of the 6 incredibly cute poses we selected. Sadly, we can't use these for our Christmas cards as they are licensed and the cards offered through the studio were outrageous! We hope to take him to see Santa this week AND maybe even take Maggie to Petsmart and get both of them with that Santa. We shall see...

Some news...I am now staying at home with Drew. Very scary times in Michigan, so nothing to take lightly, but this is actually a good change for our family. I fully plan to rejoin the workforce come the spring...or if I can land a job in the schools, the fall. Just please keep Bill in your prayers. He supports the auto industry and they are having more cutbacks, it's going on right now actually, so needless to say we are very worried.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and will enjoy the holiday season with family and friends.

Much love!