Brownie Bites: Cleaning out the Clutter ...

A Mother's Perspective by Stephanie Husted

You passed me in the shopping mall...
(You read my faded tee)
You tapped me on the shoulder...
Then asked..."What's a CHD?"

I could quote terminology...
There's stats that I could give...
But I would rather share with you...
A mother's perspective.

What is it like to have a child with a CHD?

It’s Lasix,aspirin,Captopril…
It’s wondering…Lord what’s your will?…
It’s monitors and oxygen tanks…
It’s a constant reminder to always give thanks…

It’s feeding tubes, calories, needed weight gain…
It’s the drama of eating…and yes it’s insane!
It’s the first time I held him…(I’d waited so long)
It’s knowing that I need to help him grow strong…

It’s making a hospital home for awhile…
It’s seeing my reward in every smile.
It’s checking his sats as the feeding pump’s beeping…
It’s knowing that there is just no time for sleeping…

It’s caths, x-rays and boo boos to kiss…
It’s normalcy I sometimes miss…
It’s asking do his nails look blue?
It’s cringing inside at what he’s been through.

It’s dozens of calls to his pediatrician…
(She knows me by name…I’m a mom on a mission)
It’s winters homebound…and hand sanitizer…
It’s knowing this journey has made me much wiser.

It’s watching him sleeping…
his breathing is steady…
It’s surgery day and I’ll never be ready.
It’s handing him over…( I’m still not prepared…)

It’s knowing that his heart must be repaired…
It’s waiting for news on that long stressful day…
It’s …praying…it’s hoping…that he’ll be okay.
It’s the wonderful friends with whom I’ve connected…

It’s the bond that we share…it was so unexpected…
It’s that long faded scar down my child’s small chest…
It’s touching it gently and knowing we’re blessed…
It’s watching him chasing a small butterfly…

It’s the moment I realized I’ve stopped asking why?
It’s the snowflakes that fall on a cold winter’s day…
(They remind me of those who aren’t with us today)
It’s a brave little boy who loved Thomas the train…

Or a special heart bear…or a frog in the rain….
It’s the need to remember we’re all in this plight….
It’s their lives that remind us we still need to fight!
It’s in pushing ahead amidst every sorrow…
It is finding the strength to have hope for tomorrow

Monday, March 15, 2010

Cleaning out the Clutter ...

So tonight, I did something I've done 2 other times since having Drew ...

I cleaned out my closet and drawers.

And yet, I still have nearly 2 garbage bags full of clothes to donate.

How do I have this much STUFF?!

Oh, and there's still more I could've gotten rid of. For example, a size 4(?!?!?!?!?!) skirt that I wore the night of my rehearsal dinner that I am just so in love with and *convinced* it's a "big" 4, so maybe one day I'll be able to fit in it again. Must...stop...laughing...

But I digress

Cleaning out the clutter makes me happy! It makes me feel less constricted and more free. Sure, my basement and garage (and storage shed) are still crammed to the gills with yet more STUFF. Sure, my cousin is still holding on to 90% of my childhood memories at her house up north. But, I got rid of some of my STUFF today and I feel much more liberated as a result.

Because, who needs 10 pair of black pants anyway? Not me!

2 comments:

Wodzisz Family said...: I have promised myself and my family to start cleaning the clutter tomorrow. I have put it off long enough. My guess is I can get rid of 10 bags of stuff tomorrow and not even notice it. I have suits that I have not worn in 10 years...the benefits of working from home...why do I keep them? BTW: I wish I had a size 4 of anything...maybe my mom has some of my clothes from high school!; March 15, 2010 at 10:39 PM
Bill and Mary said...: I have no idea why I have kept half of the stuff I am throwing out or giving away. It's almost sad. :) Oh that skirt! I think part of the reason I have it is to prove that, even if it was just for a short time, I fit into a size 4 in SOMETHING. ;); March 15, 2010 at 10:44 PM