Gone Forever...

Here is a picture of me approximately 2 months after I got married. I am going to say the thing no one dares say...that body is gone forever. And now the part no one REALLY dares say ... pregnancy is why.

It's my own fault really. I enjoyed all the "perks" of pregnancy...once I could eat again without dry heaving, vomiting and crying because of how lousy I felt, then thanking God the baby was OK and feeling guilty for feeling crappy, repeat...daily. I had always had the type of physique that took very little to get back in shape. And I knew it. I knew all I had to do was stick to something for a month, maybe two, and I would be good to go for the rest of the year. Now, I was good about food choices and was at least somewhat active, so I figured that by doing my normal routine after pregnancy, that I was free to indulge in the "9 Month Buffet," as my friend calls it. What I didn't count on was the physical change pregnancy would leave on my body that went FAR beyond the weight gain. I didn't count on all the water retention I would have, the swelling was horrendous, this further stretched my skin out. Now, 14.5 months after giving birth, I am 2 lbs shy of my pre-pregnancy weight, but my body is not the same as it was two summers ago.

A good friend, a kind friend, sent me some fabulous ab workouts. And I am doing them...faithfully...praying that God will show mercy and somehow, magically, my stomach won't have stretched out skin anymore and fat deposited where I NEVER carried fat prior to being pregnant. That somehow the unsightly stretch marks that came in my 38th week will disappear, that my newly formed love handles will go away, that my hips will return to their previous location and my body won't look like a pear on steroids. Sadly, I know that, no matter what I do now...the damage is done. And I have a beautiful little boy to show for my battle wounds...and I love him more than life...but I miss my old body.

SO, there, I've said it...and I will continue to work on it...so that the next pregnancy can shape my body even more and I can go back to working on my new body again after that is done. But, then, I will have two beautiful children to show for it. And a heck of a lot of work to do to chisel my body back to anything close to resembling me in this picture. How much is plastic surgery....???