The End of 2011

I haven't really been up to writing much lately. I've been busy with my family and with the holidays, and getting on the blog was last on my list. It's an outlet for me, which is why some of my posts are depressing, or slightly negative, or what have you. It's where I go to work out what I am feeling. Where I head to share my joy and ideas. Impersonal? Perhaps a bit. But, somewhere out there, someone else is going through something similar and maybe my words can help them feel a little less alone.

The day I wrote my last blog post, I had the great pleasure of "meeting" a woman who had been following my blog for some time. I had no idea. What fun it was to swap emails and see how much we have in common. And I mean, we have A LOT in common. It was also a little bit fun, kind of like I have my own "fan" or something. Hopefully that doesn't sound pompous, I don't mean for it to. It was just ... nice.

The day after my last blog post, however (well the night after and the day after that night), brought a whole other feeling altogether. A friend of mine from high school passed away suddenly, and without warning. Adding to this heartbreak, her infant daughter also passed away later the same day. I am not going to talk at great length, or in great detail about it, because I want to respect the family; but it was life changing. It was one of those moments when you really step back and realize how fleeting this life is. How fragile it is. And how, in an instant, everything you love and have prayed for can be gone just. like. that.

It has changed how I view my life. Things I used to worry about, fret over really, now seem so stupid. It has helped me to appreciate my husband, children, siblings, parental figures, cousins, friends, nieces/nephews, aunts/uncles, etc, etc, more than I already did. I hold my babies a little tighter and try to let little things slide more these days. After all, what does it really matter? In the long run, what matters is love. Showing love to those you care about. Making every day count. Never giving up on yourself, your dreams, your family. Going after what you want, without apology. Embracing all the fun there is to have in life. Being kind and good to others. These are things I learned from my friend over the years. Even the years when we weren't in communication with each other, I remembered these lessons. They were brought back to me when we reconnected...and in the aftermath of her passing. And these are the lessons I am going to take with me now.

So, 2011 went out on a pretty sour note overall. Most of it was truly great. After all, the year brought us our amazing little Emmett, and I am so grateful to God for giving him to us. However, the last month was rough; especially so for people I care about. I am praying for peace and blessings for them in 2012.