Out of Sorts

Ugh. Today has been so weird for me thus far. I don't know what my deal is. I am looking forward to going out with a friend this evening, maybe that will help me shake my funk.

I think maybe it's because I've been talking to people lately about them either trying to conceive, being pregnant or just having a baby. The thought of having another baby right now scares the crap out of me...and that makes me sad because I had always wanted to have a large family and now, I honestly think I'll be fine with two. And, not for awhile. So, it's like, what happened to me? What happened to that woman who wanted 4 kids? I guess I have come to the realization that, if I want to be a sane mother to my children, I need to be realistic. Two is about what I can handle, especially in light of the CHD factor, all the genetic testing and the still unknown variables associated with both of them. Part of me is just really scared that the next baby, or the 3rd baby or the 4th baby would have CHD, or a worse variation of Noonan Syndrome, or something else. And I know the odds are against it, but it's just where I'm at right now. Don't judge me...please.

On a happier note, Drew is doing great! He's cruising all over the place, walking with assistance, standing unassisted for a couple of seconds here and there, then controlling his "fall" to the ground. He loves playing outside and loves being at the beach or the park. The swings are his absolute favorite! He even had his first float ride in the lake the other day. At first, he really wasn't too into it, lots of big tears, but when we tried again, he loved it! He's so funny too...he smacks the sides of his face to show you where his ears are and he grabs his toes to show you where those are...but not all the time. He is also just a very good boy. We went for his abdominal ultrasound yesterday and he hadn't eaten since dinner the night before, was tired and still, he was SO GOOD. The tech was amazed. We get those results in 2 weeks and the chromosome mapping in 4 wks. Then, if necessary, we make the decision about the micrarray.

Maggie has had some ear mites, so that's been "fun." Poor girl, we had noticed her shaking her head for a few days before I left for Houston...when I got back, she was still doing it. So, I checked her ears finally and one was just disgusting. I was cleaning out brown gunk for two days before a friend of mine filled me in on what it was. So, we've been putting drops in her ears for about a week now, which she just loves. But, it seems to be clearing it up. *fingers crossed*

I hope everyone is having a good summer so far! We have a trip to Pittsburgh at the end of the month for my cousin, Andrea's wedding! I can't wait! I am working with our new Wii Fit to get my flab toned for my cute mod dress I bought. I also need some new heels to go with it. Anyway, we also have a trip with friends to Port Austin for the Cheeseburger Festival in Caseville in August and then, heading to Myrtle Beach in early September. I can't wait!